My wife informed me that my daughter got down from her school bus crying. She told me the reason too, but I wanted to hear what my daughter had to say.
In the evening, I picked up a conversation with her on this. I asked her why she had cried in the bus.
“Papa, you know it was Suneethi’s (another girl in the bus) b’day today. She distributed chocolates to everyone in the bus and she didn’t give me”
“So, why did you cry?” I asked.
“Because she didn’t give me”
“OK fine, she didn’t give you. But why did you cry?” She looked little puzzled.
“It is a bad behavior, right?”
“May be, but then why did you cry” I asked gently.
There was a pause. I repeated the question again.
“Because I wanted them to feel sorry..?” she said hesitantly and then quickly changed the topic to something else. I guess she saw the point.
This is what the ego always does. It thinks by reacting (emotionally) it can change a situation favorably or at least make someone guilty about it. It’s easy to see how this works in children, their egos are still developing. But as adults look at the amount of messages we sent out by reacting to the world every moment. We are constantly saying to the world “I am right, you better change”.We all have a need to be in constant conflict with one or the other thing.
Aldous Huxley once said “I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” But will the ego agree?