This incident happened last year, when my daughter was in her Kindergarten. All of sudden, there was something wrong with her. She became gloomy and we were sure something has happened. We tried to get her tell us if anything was wrong; but she wouldn’t. In few days, she too seemed to have forgotten about it.
One day while I was helping her to complete some homework, she narrated an incident that happened few days back. While she was writing something in the class, she made a mistake. When she tried to erase it with an eraser, the paper tore. OK, she didn’t expect that. She was afraid that the teacher would scold her. So what she did – she tore that page off and put it in to the dustbin and continued on a fresh page.
Soon when they were showing their assignments to teacher, she was caught. The teacher told her that she had done some cheating and there is no way she will get promoted to the next class.
Poor girl, she took this to be serious and this had made her down. Imagine, for days the small child was trying to handle something that she didn’t really know..
The reason I narrated this story is to demonstrate how much fear is instilled in to our minds from our early childhood. Soon they become patters and our habits and eventually our personalities.
When I started attempting to transform my life, I discovered that there were lots of hidden fears. See few examples
- Fear that I am being watched / assessed etc – especially in office
- Fear of what others think of me
- Fear for change – This really surfaced when I was trying to quit smoking
I have been able to overcome some of them , but I think lot needs to be done. I think there are fears that I haven’t still realized.
In retrospective, it’s obvious that most of these fears have got in to me in the childhood. Society always tries to get things done by fear ; you name it what you want – discipline, deadline …
Is it really necessary to induce these fears or again is it a habit we adults have formed?